I Shan’t, It’s Christmas 

Today’s title comes from one of my favorite Dr. Who characters, Donna Nobles grandfather. 

So, it’s the holiday season. For me, that means Christmas celebrations. Now, the holidays can be a ROUGH time. It can cause a lot of anxiety and depression poking its ugly face back into everyday life. I’m coming off of the end of the semester and a long agonizing spiral deep into my depression. I have also recently switched medications (fun about that in another post). Now, on top of all of that, here are the holidays.

For me, this time of year has seen more than its fair share of pain and heartache and a long period of resentment towards the whole shebang. Up until about 3 years ago, I wanted nothing to do with Christmas. For a while it only brought up horrible memories. It was torture just to make it through the holiday season. A lot of you have probably felt this way or feel this way now. 

Then, three years ago, I got angry. I was so enraged at all these happy holiday goers. I wanted to be that happy. I realized that the person I was mourning, would be furious with me for Grinching my way through Christmas. Much like Jenny Lawson’s Furiously Happy movement, (a book/blog/person I highly reccomend) I became furiously Engulfed in Christmas spirt. Hallmark sappy movies and all. I wanted to be the people who were unaffected by the trauma of the holiday so I angrily became one. 

There is a Christmas tree in my bedroom! 

It is a very non-traditional Christmas tree but remember, part of my brain is stuck at 8 years old so my Barbie pink and white Christmas tree seems like the greatest thing to that part of my brain. 

This I think is my favorite ornament. Fun fact, I went as her for Halloween the same year I got this. I was a little obsessed. 

Now, this idea of embracing the holidays to the extremes is good for everyone. This is what works for me. It makes me happy and helps me deal with the stress of the holidays just a little bit better. 

So whatever you celebrate, if this year is hard, remember-the day ends and we move forward with our lives and they get better, even if it is at a slow, obscene, speed, it gets better. 


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