Medicated for my Safety

Very recently my doctor and I came to the conclusion that the meds I had been on for about 3 years were no longer doing their job and it was time for a change. Which is just fantastic and awful especially around the holidays. (shout out to my breakdown in the middle of Christmas dinner. You were not invited to the party and showing up was a real asshole move)

So, I’m currently going through the suck all transition of medication and I happen to run into this post from one of my friends on Facebook

antidepressant

To the person who wrote the original “This is Shit” post let me just say

dwight

(that gif works with episode context AND to prove my point. Boom.)

My brain is chemically unbalanced. It doesn’t process serotonin correctly. No amount of woods is going to fix my brains in ability to process chemicals. It’s like telling someone with Rheumatoid Arthritis, if you just get up and move it will go away. Yes, moving helps but it doesn’t make up for the fact that there is degenerative tissue damage happening in the joints.

Just like all drugs, the first one you take might not always work and then you have to try something else and keep trying until you find what works. Then, it might not work forever. No one wants to just take an anti depressant if they aren’t depressed. People with depression often don’t want to take an antidepressant. Why? Because society has ingrained it in our already messed up heads that there isn’t anything wrong with us. Someone always has it worse, why should we be sad?

But I’m not sad. I’m empty and incapable of getting out of bed. Dwight, I am not just “bummed out” I am Depressed and that is okay. It is okay that I am medicated because it saves me every day.

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