At least twice a week I will text my boyfriend: “Hey…..are you mad at me?” or something like that. Usually the feeling of dread and concern that I have done something wrong and pissed him off starts because he answered a few of my text messages shorter than he would usually or he didn’t respond in a “reasonable” amount of time.
100% of the time he answers short and I have asked him if he is mad at me he has been busy doing something else but still wanted to text me.
BUT WHAT IF THIS TIME HE IS MAD AT ME AND HE ISN’T BUSY BUT JUST BEING CURT WITH ME AND WANTS TO BREAK UP WITH ME??????
every. single. time.
I start by trying to convince myself he is just busy and can’t talk as much
Me: He is at work and it must have gotten busy
Anxiety: That thing you said 5 mins ago was really insensitive and he hates you now
Me: but I just ask how he was doing
Anxiety: He is so mad at you right now he can’t even think of talking in full sentences to you.
Me: He has been really short that with me…… maybe I said something wrong
Anxiety: You said everything wrong. He is totally thinking about breaking up with you
Then, I end up asking him if he is mad at me and apologizing for OBVIOUSLY doing something wrong.
The best part of my relationship is that I’m dating someone who completely understands my anxiety and doesn’t get freaked out by the many times I just assume he suddenly hates me. I have had relationships where my significant other didn’t understand and that just fueled my anxiety that they hated me. It is so important to have open communication with a significant other and to have them understand or be actively trying to understand what is happening with you when you have a mental illness.