My relationship with sleep is not a loving and caring one. Sleep is like the little kid caught between two arguing parents. Sleep is the innocent bystander caught in the war between my anxiety and my depression. My depression says: Stay in bed, feel all the warmth and love here? No one out there loves … Continue reading Depression, Anxiety, and Sleep
As part of my writing challenge for this month, I have decided to start writing down all of the vivid childhood memories that I can. Now here is the thing about that: most every memory I have from the birth until 15 is a bit fuzzy. And by fuzzy I mean I have very few … Continue reading Trauma and Memories
I think that one of the things my boyfriend, John, has had to explain quite a few times to his friends is why he gets phone calls from me that last around 10 seconds. 90% of the time this happens is when he is with his friends so that really doesn't make me like I'm … Continue reading Dating With Anxiety: I’m Just Calling To Make Sure You’re Alive
I'm not going to lie to you, I sat down to write this blog post, typed out the title, and then sat back and watched two episodes of Worst Cooks in America. Not a good way to start a post about forming better writing habits. Since finishing up school I have really gotten out of … Continue reading Habit Forming
The recent solar eclipse is proof that world world has continued turning. Something I wasn't quite sure was still happening. I have found myself in a routine that loops and is never ending and I feel stuck. Another thing reminding me that the world is still turning is watching my friends go back to school … Continue reading The World Keeps Turning But I’m Standing Still
Right now the first Twilight movie is playing in the background. By far, this is the worst of all the movies. But, I will say this without any shame: I. LOVE. TWILIGHT. I'M NOT ASHAMED. Okay, I'm a little ashamed because I am a 22 year old woman and most people grew out of the … Continue reading Twilight is Trash and So am I
After the anniversary I needed to take a little break from writing and checking my blog. The day didn't go as planned and I felt a bit out of sorts for a while. But, very recently I have started going to the gym. Recently as in like a month and a half. I have been … Continue reading I Guess I go to the gym now…..
Today is the anniversary of my trauma. I thought long and hard about whether or not I was going to write a blog post today because it still feels a little weird, especially weird today. But, I have prided myself on transparency in my writing. 14 years ago, when I was 8 years old, I … Continue reading The Anniversary of the Day I Don’t Remember and Can’t Forget.
At least twice a week I will text my boyfriend: "Hey.....are you mad at me?" or something like that. Usually the feeling of dread and concern that I have done something wrong and pissed him off starts because he answered a few of my text messages shorter than he would usually or he didn't respond … Continue reading Dating With Anxiety: Babe, Are You Mad at Me?
Last week I woke up in the middle of a panic attack because I was having a panic attack in my dream. In my dream I got the letter about whether or not I was going to grad school in the fall but I was suddenly unable to read. It is safe to say that … Continue reading What Now?